Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Hunky Santa

Hello, I hope this is not too over rated photoshoot to any adults. I think I should put this blog restricted and not viewable to people below age 18. Anyway. it is my self portraits, self set up the backdrop and one standee light, also the Christmas lights. I do this initially is for the Andrew Christian underwear Hunky Santa but I didn't notice the closing date was on 14th December and I only did this photoshoot on this Monday which is 17th December, silly me. But I still try my luck to submit two photos to them but they got no respond to it. =( In the end, I still love their products  ;)

Andrew Christian brand most of the time have very sexy and adult content with their models almost wearing nothing or wearing almost naked hot Andrew Christian underwear with their bulge showing. So, I did tried to wear something to help me sustain the bulge. Sorry I know this part sounds so not comfortable to certain people but I am just sharing the progress of how it is done.

And also, the Christmas lights aren't comfortable to put around your body as the lights on for a certain period of time, they turn hot like little things heating you skin. But its something that I wanted to try for quite some time. And of course, because I am a quite slim person, I have to not only put oil or baby oil on my body to enhance my body to look slightly more muscular, I also try to wear jacket to cover my arms to give an illusion like I have not too thin arms, or maybe I just not so confident yet.

But I also do take some photos without my jacket and put the reindeer hat  around my neck for fun. I took about 80-90 photos as total just to get only a few nice photos and its pretty funny situation trying to do self portrait by clicking the controller repeatedly to get the camera senses your controller.

Lastly, I wish everyone have a good or naughty Christmas, depends you want to be on which list from Santa haha. But the most importantly, I wish you all have a safe and yet a merry Christmas. Bless you all.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Jobless Week 6

Loving my back! haha, Wish I can reach my ideal weight which is 67kg -70kg.

Having normal salad as usual but not everyday, sometimes just eat muesli when ran out of stock for salad. This week was very busy and slightly fading on positive energy or hope on my journey to gain weight and maintaining my muscle without losing balance of time/life on doing the other sides of me which is art projects.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

The reason of being jobless

Each time when people asked about why jobless, each time I revise why I quit, each time I have more thoughts, I was initially wanted to learn how to build a website from back end to the front, I also wanted to be me, have my style, my input into the web designs, and I also try to understand and put myself into same goals as the company's, to be united in order to have the self motivation to do good works and not just work for money which I learnt from a book, I learnt in order to be successful with partners, first must have same vision and goal which are able to work together for it and not fighting for it. But when work overload and not informed surprises strikes and workaholic spirit forced into the environment, I immediately know this is not the ideal lifestyle I was trying to balance of,  and changes made to the environment before I able to be qualified, I lost a senior to learn from when I think I have not fully learn everything, I just feel, unorganised, not systematic, not define job scope and I am just not happy. I just feel when in my personal real life, I have been mostly trying out , working out things by myself, i do not wish to be in the same situation again in my working life, makes me feel pointless and rather working for myself individually. And that's the reason why I always wanting to try working or collaborating with people, as I understand the power of teamwork. 

Other than that, I just want to say, I can eat super plain for two months plus because of acupuncture to treat hives, I can try to eat more meals correctly and more vegetables to balance the acid and alkali because of wanting to gain more weight and muscle, and not getting heaty and cause breakouts. I can do non-paid own art projects and quit my jobs and dying just hoping somehow the things i do can be something someday, I can because wanting to survive, hopefully madly preparing things and trying out things to earn little bits of money and dunno where am i going. I am just crazy that everyone thinks and I know i have not reach the lowest point to say such an arrogant words while I am still losing things now, all i have now is platforms communicating with outside world and trying to get right networks, I am using my all to be the artist that I want to be and is not enough time to balance life yet. Its just the beginning. 

You don't know how much I hate about myself before I came here this far.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Jobless Day 32, Week 4

Credit to Jason L.W.Wei who took these two photos during the photoshoot.
One week ago, I had a photoshoot with Mei Fern for the second time and this time is indoor which is comfy and more able to control the lights without much demand on the outside weather. But she prefer to take with natural light from the windows. This time, she not only trying the natural light; she bought LED torch light to do new experimental photoshoot together with her makeup artist, Pearl Tan who is good at making special effect make up. She is pretty, this is my second time seeing makeup artist with very good skin complexion, I guess that's the secret of studying make up. Its my second attempt to do heavy makeup theme with Mei Fern but I do feel nice to work with her again as she always have different concepts to try out and I also able to gain new experience. Hope I did perform well this time again! =)